An Ode to Motherhood

I’ve come to realize in the past 9 months that being a mother isn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be. For some reason I had the delusion that I would be the perfect mother without making any type of mistakes, which I’ve come to know is certainly not true.

Having Hannah has made me come to grips with the fact that things are positively out of my control and there is nothing I could do about it. For those of you that know me very well, I tend to have OCD tendencies and learning to release certain things has been so difficult for me.

Here are some of my thoughts about how crazy/fun and imperfect motherhood can be:

1. The hardest thing I’ve had to deal with and still am dealing with is that my house will never be clean for the next 18 years. This is where my OCD comes out and it kills me that there are toys everywhere, and it basically looks like Babies R US vomited all over my house.
2. Dinnertime will no longer be quiet moments between Travis and myself. It’s more like eating, entertaining, and feeding Hannah while trying to have a conversation about how your day went.
3. Sleep deprivation is one of the worst experiences of parenthood. Enough said!
4. Phone conversations are extremely difficult to have unless Hannah is sleeping. The honest truth is, the last thing I want to do when I have a half an hour free is talk to someone on the phone when I would much rather just watch tv, sleep or have a moment to myself.
5. You will continuously run late to anything you have to attend. It’s like a production to get out of the house.
6. I have learned to multi-task in ways I never thought possible. What I used to get done throughout the course of the day for chores before Hannah was born can get done in a hour or two while she is napping or in bed for the night.
7. You will do anything wacky to make your child smile.
8. I’d rather spend time with my child especially since I work full-time than hang out with friends. I have a tendency to cancel on people because I feel guilty about leaving her.
9. I’ve realized that I took my time with Travis for granted because those 60 minutes at night that we get to spend together just watching tv are precious.
10. There are times I want to rip my hair out of my head and think about life before mommy hood, but then Hannah smiles and laughs and that make my whole life worthwhile.
11. I would rather buy clothes and toys for Hannah than buy anything for myself. Shopping for her is so much fun!
12. Things are unable to happen on a schedule, as much as I would like them to. Hannah will not always go down for naps when she should even though she’s exhausted, dinner will not always happen every night, housework will not get done, laundry will pile up, etc…
13. Church services at night during Advent and Lent won’t work for us. As I saw this past week, I tried to take Hannah to Maundy Thursday service at 7:30pm and she screamed her head off so we had to leave.
14. The excitement on her face when I haven’t seen her all day totally makes my day.
15. Travis and I have learned to become accustomed to working around Hannah’s schedule.
16. I love love love love cloth diapers!!
17. Poop becomes part of your everyday vocabulary.
18. Never ever leave the house without her pacifier! I’ve done this once and I thought the world was going to end.
19. My husband is the most wonderful father to our daughter. He has surprised me in more ways than I thought possible, which has made me love him even more.
20. Seeing Hannah first thing in the morning with her enormous amount of bedhead and beautiful smile is something I look forward to on the mornings I don’t have work.

Life may not always be perfect, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We have made mistakes as parents, and I know we will make many many more. Having a child may not be easy, truth be told parenting is one of the hardest things to do in life, but she brightens my life in every way, shape and form possible.

Transition

On Friday night we decided to transition Hannah from her Rock and Play Rocker in our room to her crib in the nursery without her being swaddled. We knew it was time, but had been delaying it because we were comforted that she was sleeping next to us.

For the whole week she has been napping in her Pack and Play or crib without being swaddled and she didn't really have a problem. I told myself this was going to be rough, and yes it has been.

Night 1 was a nightmare, she woke up every 45 minutes from 1230-6am and therefore Mommy and Daddy were also up and exhausted. She wasn't used to not being swaddled at night and having space to move around. She was crying a lot or extremely fussy. There were a few times I wanted to give in and just swaddle her, but Travis convinced me it wasn't a good idea. It was frustrating, overwhelming and a few tears on my part. We got through the night, but Hannah was very tired throughout the day.

Last night was Night 2 and she slept from 9-330am without waking up. She fell back to sleep quickly and woke up at 530am because she was hungry. Couldnt get her back down until 645am or
so. I'm exhausted and a bit frustrated and hope this week goes okay, as it wouldn't be easy going into work with 5 hours of sleep. I'm lucky to have a husband that keeps me sane, calm and reassures me we are doing the right thing and to push through.

Here's to hoping we have a smooth week!

Happy 3 Months Hannah!

Dearest Hannah,
I can't believe you are three months old, time has gone by pretty quickly! It felt like only yesterday you were still in Mommy's belly kicking away. You are growing so well, and changing right before our eyes. You have been doing new things and learning new skills every day which makes Daddy and I so happy. You are such a huge blessing in our lives, and I look forward to seeing your smiling face every day!
Daddy and I love you more than words can say!


Love,
Mommy & Daddy

The Third Month of Hannah's Life

Height & Weight: At your doctor's appointment in the beginning of September you were 10 lbs. 10 oz. which means at this point you should be around 12 lbs. You are also 23 inches long!

Sleeping: You are still sleeping 8-10 hours a night which is awesome! We are starting to put you to bed between 8:30-9:30pm and you usually sleep til 7-8am. Usually you start grunting and stirring around 6am when Mommy gets up to get ready for work. You are still falling asleep on your own at night and during naptime but usually cry for 15 minutes until you fall asleep. At this point you are still sleeping in your rocker in our bedroom, but that will change once we move you to your crib come November! At Miss Debbie's (babysitter) you nap in your pack and play. As for naps you take a cat nap in the morning for around an hour or so, and then one long 3 hour nap in the afternoon. Keep it up Baby Girl!

Eating: You are eating about 6 times a day and go 3 hours in between feedings. We have switched over to just formula and you are eating 5 1/2 -6 oz.

Your Hair: It is growing so long! Daddy and I noticed it's starting to change color to a dark shade of brown with light brown highlights. I love love love your hair! I hope to be able to put some tiny pigtails in it soon!

Your Eyes: They are still dark brown and beautiful!

Clothes: It is now Fall so we have started diving into all your comfy clothes! You are still wearing 0-3 months and probably will be able to for another few weeks! You have an adorable Fall/Winter wardrobe thanks to Grandma and Poppa! Mommy also bought your Halloween costume, which we are going to have your pictures taken in! You are going to be a cute little lamb. We are still looking for a Winter coat/Snow suit, hopefully we won't need that for some time.

Diapers: You are wearing Size 1 Pampers Swaddlers. Your cloth diapers are all washed and ready to go and we finally put you in one!

Favorite Toys: You have finally started to love your swing!! It took 3 months but you are getting used to it and falling asleep in it. We have started to expose you to all your toys (rattles, noise makers, etc.) and you are so alert and ready to grab at them! You are still amazed by your Mobile Jungle Gym, and love the flashing lights that go off as the music plays. I can't wait until you are able to start grasping your toys and playing with them on your own.

Your Favorite Songs: You still like when Daddy sings Jesus Loves You to you. Also Mommy has been playing a Toddler Station for you on Pandora and you still to like the music!

Nicknames: Mommy and Daddy call you Lovey and Princess still! Others call you Hannah Poo and Hannah Banana!

Milestones: You are almost ready to roll over and have started to sit up on your own for a very short amount of time. Your Bumbo seat helps strengthen your back, and lets you watch the world around you. Mommy and Daddy love waking up to your smiling face every morning. You smile and laugh so much now, it's the highlight of our days.

Happy 3 Months Hannah Grace!!!